Going through a divorce can be challenging for everybody involved, including your children. Even if you had a rocky divorce and your relationship with your ex-spouse is ideal, you can still work toward co-parenting successfully. Now that you are divorce has been finalized, it is time to focus on mastering successful co-parenting and becoming allies. Co-parenting aims to raise children in a healthy environment while fostering their well-being. Over the years, we have noticed some important steps co-parents can take to raise their children successfully after a divorce.
Effective Communication
If you have experienced a difficult divorce, the last thing you may want to do is communicate with your ex-spouse. You may be looking forward to not having to communicate with your ex-spouse and moving on with your life. However, if you are raising children as co-parents, putting some effort and energy into communicating with your spouse can help you now and in the future. Maintaining an open and honest line of communication can ensure your children’s needs are met. Discussing schedules, checking in, sharing receipts, and addressing any concerns can help you significantly. Now, parents can use multiple phone apps to communicate with each other.
These apps allow parents to share information efficiently, manage schedules, and communicate effectively. When parents are having difficulty communicating with each other, some judges may even order them to use co-parenting apps to communicate. Keeping a neutral tone can help avoid emotional blow-ups with your ex-spouse. If your ex-spouse is trying to inflame a situation, using a neutral tone can help keep you cool. If communication continues to be difficult, you may want to seek help from a mediator or contact an experienced family law attorney.
Remain Consistent
One of the best strategies parents can use to raise their children, whether divorced or not, is to be consistent and establish schedules and routines. Routines give children a sense of normalcy and tell them what to expect daily. Sometimes, having the same routines is impossible when kids live in two different households. Still, you can work with your ex-spouse to coordinate bedtime, meal times, and extracurricular activities to provide more predictability and stability.
Coordinating Expectations
One of the most difficult challenges co-parents face occurs when one parent is much more lenient than the other. The opposite is true: when one parent is much more strict than the other, problems can arise. Every parent has a unique parenting style, so it is impossible to remain completely consistent. Still, you can work together to be on the same page regarding household expectations and rules. You can work together to achieve consistent discipline, behavior, and reward guidelines.
Working on the same page regarding rules and expectations can help your children feel supported and secure. Instead of thinking that they can get away with certain behaviors with one parent and not the other, they will know that the rules and expectations are similar with both parents.
Respect Boundaries
After a divorce, it is difficult to move on And not remember all of the wrongs your ex-spouse did to you. As hard as it may be, avoiding discussing personal issues or using your kids as a way to communicate with your ex can help everyone become more healthy and move on. Respecting your co-parent’s personal space, privacy, and parenting time is also important. Shielding your children from any disagreements or conflicts between you and your ex-spouse and discussing contentious issues privately outside of your shop from your children is crucial. You don’t want your children to be in the middle of disagreements between their parents.
Use Collaborative Problem-Solving
Navigating the Waters of co-parenting requires creative thinking and collaborative problem-solving. You and your ex-files probably have not needed to co-parent before, and it is important to remain flexible and adapt to any changes life throws. Sometimes, life is unpredictable, and changes to circumstances or schedules are unavoidable.
Try to keep your children’s best interests in mind and work together to find creative solutions for everyone when conflicts arise. Getting upset can make it difficult to collaborate together. Using self-control and a collaborative approach can help create a more harmonious relationship between you in your co-parent while reducing everyone’s tension and stress levels.
Put Your Child’s Best Interests First
You and your co-spouse have a history together, and it can be hard to ignore that history and put your children’s best interests first. However, it’s important for children to maintain a healthy relationship with both of their parents. Supporting and encouraging your children’s relationships with the other co-parent can foster a secure, positive, loving environment. Before considering your personal preferences are feelings, you should consider your children’s emotional, physical, and psychological needs.
Work Together to Resolve Conflicts
You may be working diligently to co-parent effectively when an issue that causes a lot of conflict arises. You may not know how to handle the situation calmly. Try to focus on finding common ground with your co-parent and resolving the issue in a way that puts your child’s needs first. Sometimes, co-parenting couples benefit from working with a professional, such as a mediator or family therapist who can provide guidance and support.
A third party may be able to consider your situation and devise a creative solution that you would not have figured out yourself. It is okay to ask for help when needed, and it is better to ask for help than to have a conflict continue and escalate. Resolving conflicts can help children feel stable and secure, develop better relationships with both parents, maintain strong family connections, and decrease anxiety and emotional instability.
Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney in Texas
Whether you are considering divorce or an issue has arisen after your divorce, attorney Vonda Covington is here to help you protect yourself and your rights. Contact Covington Law Firm, PLLC, to schedule a case evaluation and learn more about how she can help you protect your rights. We will respond within 24 hours.
